im such a jerk!

k last time i was being too emotional..for that, i've deleted my last post because it might hurt someone's feeling..yeah being a jerk is really pressure u know..surrounded by troubles..everyday i've to curse this and that..i cannot taking control of my own feeling while people keep pushing me..being nice is ruined my life,sometimes. im not saying i am nice but i've tried to do many good things and what i get back? karma could be wrong sometimes..we being nice to people but people repay us with shits..it happens all the time in my life while i keep taking care of others but what about mine? yeah since i moved here, a lot things happened..especially on friendship..it didnt go well..being alone is better because we only care our own business..but if friends come to me, i cannott say no..n i wont say no coz i think, who else can help me in my condition now?? yeah defitnitely, friends! more and more firends are better..but now, things arent go so well..it turned out so bad..is it myself or is it..them? ok..point it to me..maybe im the problem..im a jerk..jerky jerk! wut ever..